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International Fuck-A-Friend Day: June 9th
By admin | May 24, 2010
International F*ck-A-Friend Day had its humble beginnings during the summer of love back in 1969. It began as an outlet for expanding sexual awareness while high on drugs with soul mates you met a couple days ago. It was wildly successful.
But, after the hippies became executives in the 70s, the lessons learned from the original F*ck-A-Friend Days were lost, and with the help of the Reagan administration and its invention of AIDS, F*ck-A-Friend Day was pretty much forgotten.
Until now.
We are teaming up with every sort of birth control and STD protection to reintroduce F*ck-A-Friend Day to a modern audience. We would first like to stress that we are not doing this because we want to hook up with our smoking-hot friend Amber, who can’t see that she shouldn’t be dating her loser boyfriend and would be much better off with us.
F*ck-A-Friend Day is meant to bring close friends even closer. We all have really good friends with whom we’ve reached a plateau: we already know everything about each other. We share everything. We may even share intimate details of our sexual exploits. Wouldn’t it be so much better to show our friends what we are talking about rather than telling them? F*ck-A-Friend Day gives you this opportunity.
F*ck-A-Friend Day is also trying to erase the taboos our society has built up around sex. Did you know that back in Shangri-La people would greet each other on the streets by having sexual intercourse? It’s true! My, how far we have come! Nowadays, people won’t even allow one to talk about sex. We’re all too afraid to take our genitals out because we may get a laundry list of STDs. Of course, it is important to be careful about these sorts of things, but who do you trust more than your friends when it comes to clean sex?
The main goal of F*ck-A-Friend Day is to provide friends with an opportunity to broach the subject of engaging in one of life’s more enjoyable acts without the fear of it destroying the friendship.
Of course, as with having sex with anyone (friends and enemies alike), it is important to have some ground rules/reminders:
-Both parties must be consenting (and able to consent) at all times. This is NOT Rape-A-Friend Day.
-Be sure to use some sort of protection. It’s not Father-A-Friend’s-Baby Day.
-Be sure to follow all applicable federal and state laws, except for the stupid ones (like “no fellatio.”)
-If your friend is an Hassidic Jew, be sure to do it through a hole in a sheet.
-It is, of course, okay if your friend is already sexually active with you.
Sex is a touchy subject, so approach this carefully. Make plans to hang out with the friend that day. Perhaps, send them an invite to take part in this event. Basically, ask the friend if he/she would like to participate…as a one time thing. If they say no, try another friend. If they say yes, this does not mean that you will have sex with them on any other day of the year or ever again. This is strictly a one time engagement. This understanding is necessary to avoid potential future awkwardness or friendship problems that plague every other friendship that turns sexual.
So, that is all the info you need to have a fun and successful International F*ck-A-Friend Day. Please voice your comments and concerns below, and we will try to address them!
Happy F*cking!
Topics: Special Report, Stories | 2 Comments »
June 2nd, 2010 at 5:50 pm
it just so happens that my birthday is june 9th, n I think this is f*ucking great!!
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:51 am
The summer of love was 1967.