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    A Letter to Pabst Blue Ribbon

    Saturday, April 17th, 2010

    Tectonic plates could never produce the earthquakes begging my external anal sphincter to relax.

    STORY OF THE DAY: National Day of Prayer Declared Unconstitutional. Are Sunday workdays coming soon?

    Friday, April 16th, 2010

    We’ve had enough with getting that check from mommy in the mail on Monday when we could have had it on Sunday. Sure, it was only for $20, but that’s like 30 PBRs, and it’s much more acceptable getting trashed on a Sunday than a Monday. Jesus.

    The Onion Unpeeled: Six Flags NEVER Created a Roller Coaster Based on Someone’s Relationship

    Thursday, April 15th, 2010

    “Look: the bottom line is a ride like the Life Force Crusher-X (although I like the ‘X’ in the name) would never exist at any park.”

    BoozeWeek Article: Boozing on a Budget

    Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

    Down the beer, bust the bottle, and jam it in the motherfucker’s eye.

    A Poopy Letter to the Makers of Urinal Screens

    Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

    People would buy your product so that their urinals wouldn’t get clogged with poop and afterbirth.

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