Archive for December, 2009
The Onion Unpeeled: Jesus Christ Was NOT Considered for the Notre Dame Job
Sunday, December 13th, 2009They cited His many other more important jobs, such as answering prayers for last-second touchdowns, as the reason for their snub.
STORY OF THE DAY: Dutch Guy Notifies the Police that Someone Stole His 2400 Pills of Ecstasy
Friday, December 11th, 2009You simply make it known to your friends, boss, co-workers, and colleagues that some of the pills in your ecstasy collection are poisonous.
STORY OF THE DAY: 9/11 Truly Was an Inside Job!
Thursday, December 10th, 2009Now, I must do my part and join the Taliban and fuck a baby or something.
A Letter to K-Y Jelly
Tuesday, December 8th, 2009Much like illegal immigrants, it does the work Americans don’t want to do!
The Onion Unpeeled: Lou Dobbs Was NOT Deported
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009“Yeah, Dobbie is still in the US. He just came in for lunch yesterday. I made a joke about how I thought he had quit. He just kind of scowled at me.”