Correspondence
« Previous EntriesA Letter to Pabst Blue Ribbon
Saturday, April 17th, 2010Tectonic plates could never produce the earthquakes begging my external anal sphincter to relax.
A Poopy Letter to the Makers of Urinal Screens
Tuesday, April 13th, 2010People would buy your product so that their urinals wouldn’t get clogged with poop and afterbirth.
Letter to Girl Scouts of the USA
Friday, March 12th, 2010“These cookies are going to turn our daughters into behemoth zit-faced freaks forced to go to the Prom with their brothers because they are below the standards of a teenager’s last resort!”
An Old but Very Relevant Letter to Pat Robertson
Sunday, January 17th, 2010I was thinking you should make bracelets that say: “WWPRTMJWD” to stand for “What Would Pat Robertson Tell Me Jesus Would Do?”
A Letter to the Federal Communications Commission
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that sex is something respectable people do.
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